Minivan Momma

When you're behind the wheel - there's danger all around
There're teenagers and old folks - who'll run you in the ground
But of all the dangers out there - the one that I can't stand
Is a mother and her screaming kids packed in a minivan

Minivan momma - proudly drivin' your tin can
Once it was big hair in station wagons - now it's soccer moms in minivans

You're creepin' down the road - really slow just to be safe
You're weavin' back and forth - with a blank look on your face
Or you're gabbin' on your cell phone - while the kids bounce off the walls
Other lives just ain't important when you have to make your calls

Minivan momma - cloggin' up the traffic flow
Catchin' up on brainless gossip - while you're swervin' to and fro

Solo

     The kids are in there screamin' - they're not watchin' their DVD
     You couldn't stop at one - no - you had to pump out three
     And the light ain't gettin' greener - and it's a red-hot summer day
     So just smack your brats across the teeth and get out of my way!

Minivan momma - pay attention when you drive
The life you save won't just be your own - I'd also like to stay alive

Minivan momma - discipline may be the key
But judging from your size -- it don't run in your family!