Football Blues

Every week - I get up for the game
Got my team colors on - the ball in my hand - ready to go just the same
Watch my team - as they show me once again
No matter how much I cheer - they find a new way not to win

But I stare - and pay up like a chump
Shell out hundreds of bucks so each week I can watch as my team takes another dump
One more season - winds up in the tank
Still the players get paid - and they laugh all the way to the bank

     I'm a moron -- a clicker-throwin' clod
     I'm a moron -- and it's really kinda odd
     'Cause I know it's really stupid to watch a kid's game played by men
     But next week you can bet my dumb ass will tune in once again

Solo

Every week - as I watch and scream and yell
My muscles are tense - my blood pressure's high - I make my own personal hell
At this rate - I'll drop dead in my chair
With both middle fingers held up high and proud in the air

     I'm a moron -- it don't take no PhD
     I'm a moron -- and my friends all laugh at me
     'Cause no matter how important I think it is - it's just a stupid game
     But next week you can bet my dumb ass will tune in just the same

Solo

How I wish - my team would win the Super Bowl
But just when I think that a breakthrough is near - they fall into a hole
And I wonder - as another chance is missed
What made me a half-witted pigskin masochist

     I'm a moron -- and I guess that it won't change
     I'm a moron -- and it's really kinda strange
     'Cause the fact is I know better - and I really should feel shame
     But next week you can bet my dumb ass will tune in just the same

     Yeah the fact is I know better - and I really should feel shame
     But next week you can bet my dumb ass will tune in just the same!